Engineering The Perfect Response

Engineering The Perfect Response

“And the winner of the Highest Seeded Rookie Team Award is...TEAM 4342-- DEMON ROBOTICS!”, my heart pounded. The blood flooded the chambers as it finally broke out of its seemingly eternal slumber, and started to beat harder than even the wheels on our robot’s body. Everything I worked for, everything I had done led me to this very moment. And I did not know back then. And still do not know now how a simple announcement can completely pivot your life and purpose. The one thing I did realize was our eligibility to receive the highest newbie honor: the Rookie All-Star Award. It was then that my heart froze again. With all the contradicting emotions working in my brain, my mind was like a roller coaster; something I feared more than even my worst dreams. Something I could not simply look past.

The award had simple requirements. The selected team would need to have won the Highest Seeded Rookie Team Award, as well as prepare a short safety video, and finally interview for the panel of judges to more easily determine the winner. It did not sound too difficult, at least not when taking into account that we had won on a county level, and this was a statewide competition. Our work had to be flawless. No mistakes. No going back. No taking chances. There is never room for error; not unless failure is an option. And all our team needed was a perfect interview.

The mentor would want me. Of course he would want me. I was the only girl on the team. The only representation of diversity. And, oh, did we need a good assortment. Not only in the code of our robot's software, but also proudly displayed within our lineup. In a field where women are almost invisible, companies always crave for an influx of their own brand of Diversity™.
And so the day came. Our safety video was expertly made, and all that was left to achieve was an outstanding interview. But, my hands were shaking. My body was shaking. My whole being was shaking. I felt scared and anxious, yet excited and confident that our hard work would pay off. I sure hoped I was not wrong.
"Demon Robotics, Team 4342, you're up!", exclaimed a voice that I had never heard before, but that still made my legs tremble. It was here. This moment that I had been waiting for was staring me right in the face and all my brain and heart could say was "Run, Jamie, Run!". But my feet stuck. They had become part of the floor now. I could not move. No way to get out of this one.

"It's a show", I whispered to calm myself. "Just a nice and simple performance to present the team's strengths". Something I was luckily familiar with being a known theatre geek. So, I channeled my inner Elphaba and decided to defy gravity. In my mind, I pictured myself flying over beautiful cotton-like clouds, looking over the sunset and its ethereal, warm glow. In real life, I had spaced out completely, while I sat down the hard, lumpy couch in a dim room with dirty white walls. Hoping to get an immediate answer, the judges asked my name and position on the team. My brain was not being kind to me today. It was running all over the place alarming everything else in my body that I would soon fail this task. And oh so thankfully, the judges could see right through my attempted calm and collected demeanor. I felt like I was at war. Me, holding my thoughts, clutching them as my last hope to defeat the enemy. Them, firing questions at me, while my mind took every single hit and bled out "Um's", and "Eh's". And then I finally answered. My ears could hear everything. From the judges' fast, sloppy scribbling to my heart beating at the speed of the almost non-existent light in the room. I could smell their cheap cologne and a hint of disappointment. The interview was to last half an hour, but they dismissed me within 15 minutes. I knew that was not a good sign. We had failed. I had failed. There was no recovering from that embarrassment. I had lost my battle.
A few days went by and they announced the winner. It was not my team. I was disappointed, but a bit more sound of mind. I knew that what I had to say was important. What I had to say had to do with my life. It had to do with many people's lives. Women, men, and children alike. We could all be part of something that makes our society better and firmer, even if it is not always perfect. Anything can be an improvement. And yes, I lost that one battle. But, a war is made of hundreds of small battles and I will continue to fight with the determination to win. And if I do not succeed, well, we can always engineer ourselves another chance.